John 8:36 (NLT) So if the Son sets you free, you are truly free.
Once there was a little girl born in a house, she is blessed; she lives humbly with her parents. Daily she looks out the window of the house and sees the glory of God’s creation, the forest, the mountains, the fields full of flowers and the river flowing freely outside and she goes out to enjoy everything.
Around the age of 10 bad things happen to the little girl – her parents are arguing a lot and then divorce, her grades begin to slip and she becomes angry. She begins to stay in the house more and more. Her Heavenly King comes and asks the girl if she wants to come to the castle to live for safety and security. The little girl says, “Yes!” She repents of her sins of anger, is baptized and filled with the Holy Spirit. At castle the little girl seems to flourish. From a distance the people can see light shining out from the castle, hear praises of God flowing freely.
In time young girl moved to Texas to attend Bible College, she was now 18. There she learned to ride horses and went to small churches in East Texas sharing the goodness of the King to others through teaching Sunday School and helping out with choirs and worship teams. She was excited because she knew that one day she would become a missionary to Latin America.
At the end of her freshman year of Bible College the now young woman got married. Life was looking up (or so she thought).
The King is all knowing and all seeing. He sees what is happening in the heart of His daughter.
- At night the young woman practiced the art of warfare, you see the man that she married was full of anger and he would hit her. The young woman began to feel that same anger and rage that she had experienced before she had gone to live at the castle. She did not run to the King for help in the matter, she took it into her own hands and lifted her fists and fought to defend herself!
- The girl becomes an apprentice of the local mason outside of the castle, learning how to build strong walls.
- About 3 months after she married she moved out of the castle to build her own home with many rooms. She even built a moat around the house to ensure that no one could enter without her knowing.
- There were times that the King would call on the young woman to take care of her Kingdom responsibilities, she would go and then hurry back to her home –with bow and arrow loaded ready to shoot any unwelcome person.
- Finally the day came when the young woman did not answer the call of the King – she stayed in her fortress, now a prison, made by her own hands.
The little girl turned young woman is me. This is a snapshot of my life from 1978 til 2003. For me – I had made my own prison. During my first marriage – where I was abused, I built up walls and completed a huge fortress to protect myself from “evil”. I was angry at God for letting those things happen to me since I was a “good girl” and had followed all the rules that I had been taught. Yet tragedy came into my life through my husband – a man who was supposed to love and cherish me. I was determined that no one was ever going to hurt me again. I left, got a protective order, bought a gun, and emotionally moved into my fortress where no one was allowed to enter. There was a permanent “Stay Away!” sign posted in my front yard and on my windows.
I eventually married again, had two boys but even they were not allowed into my private fortress. I was an angry wounded woman for 15 years – if anyone even tried to get close I would open up a small window and let the arrows fly – across the moat and into the field where they were approaching from. No one was going to ever hurt me again, no one!
It was there in that lonely fortress that God poured His Love down on me – everywhere I turned kindness, new jobs, promotions, new homes, obedient & smart children, blessings and care from perfect strangers – God loved me right where I was.
While trapped in the fortress of my own desires and passions – God’s Love met me in ways that were unthinkable and nothing like what I learned growing up. God is still God and He used others – people that did not know me or my past, to show His Love in ways that touched my bruised hardened heart.
Ephesians 3:17-19 New Living Translation (NLT) 17 Then Christ will make his home in your hearts as you trust in him. Your roots will grow down into God’s love and keep you strong. 18 And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is. 19 May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God.
It has been a journey for me – that was now 10 years ago – January 2004 when God’s Love began to melt my hardened heart and I accepted, really accepted all that He had to offer me. In the process of my healing, I saw my 2nd marriage saved, my children both come to know the Lord as their own personal Savior, and even my husband 2 months before his death came to know Christ. But my story did not end there!
While I was widowed God continued to work on my heart as there was a lot of damage and there were times that the pain was great and I did not always allow Him to treat me. You see God is a gentleman and He never forces His way upon us.
One day the King invited me on a trip to Nicaragua – no family or friends traveled with me. There is no castle, there are no guards and the King ensures me that I will never be alone. Even during my sleep God kept me covered with scriptures and prayer. On this trip I cried more than I have cried in my life, the King took me around the countryside of Nicaragua and showed me the hearts of His people. I could not help but have compassion and feel how the King’s heart also hurt.
When I arrived back home – I looked around and saw the dirt and grime in the fortress that I had built. The only light in the fortress was coming from the King himself. I saw the stashes of weapons, the many extra rooms that have been added to the fortress since I first entered as a young woman at the age of 19.
The light of the King kept drawing people from outside my fortress – they were coming to see and visit the King. When the people approached, from years of practice I would run and pick up my weapons and begins to shoot arrows no matter who was approaching. The King saw me going back to my old ways and decided to allow me to see with His eyes whom I was shooting at – the broken, wounded and sick. I began to cry as my heart healed a little more, but with my bow and arrow still in hand.
As I went back to my normal schedule of work and church, I began to hear what people were saying besides my King:
- Why do you have so many shields?
- You are the most open, closed person I have ever met!
- You try hard not to show people that you care, why is that?
- Can you try harder to be nice? Stop shutting people out before you even know what the question is!
- It is not a weakness to cry, you don’t have to be strong all of the time.
My heart was healing, but only as I opened up to God and allowed Him to minister to me. Though all of this spiritual warfare was happening – the Lord gave me the strength to stand my ground and not retreat. I began to clean my little fortress, going from room to room asking the Lord what to do with all of the boxes of stuff that I had acquired. There were days at work that I had to leave the building for lunch since I was having a harder and harder time containing my tears. The desire to fight at work or “defend” myself had all but left my heart. It is hard to fight those who are crippled, sick and wounded. I found myself praying more and more for my co-workers.
I understand intellectually that I am on the Potter’s wheel and that God is molding me into who He desires for me to be. However truly learning about myself and the walls that I had built up is saddening. To allow God to mold me, I needed to start smashing the walls I had built; learning to be true to God and myself at all times – especially outside of worship time during church service.
I went on a 3rd mission trip to Nicaragua, then six months later met my beloved Donnie. I say beloved because I know that my King sent Donnie across my path. I have moved out of the house made by my own hands and back into the loving arms of God.
My beloved Donnie and I are living our lives in God’s love, trust, unity and forgiveness. I am still healing as I have been sharing in my writings of Arsenal Inventory, Wounded By Friendly Fire and Pumps of Peace. However now I no longer am on my journey alone, my husband and leader of our home journeys with me. Today we have been married for 11 months – next month we will hit 1 year and I have to say it has been the best year of my life. We’re in our 40’s and I am married to a minister of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. We share the love of our Father God and are reaching souls for His Kingdom together –we are One. It is truly “The Great Mystery” of how God can take TWO people and make them ONE when their foundation is in HIM.
Because of the love of God, to me, through me, through us – we are now able to reach out to each of you as well as our own family members that before we really never gave much thought.
It is not about social justice or being socially aware – The Love of God is healing us; healing our family and we know He is willing to heal and make whole so many more.
- Today I can pray for my first husband, obviously he is a hurting man and that is why he hurt me and has hurt others since.
- Today my boys have a better mother than they grew up with and allowed to fellowship with me. I no longer live in a fortress of solitude but in God’s love, peace and joy that they too enjoy.
- My husband is with me in our sanctuary that God has created – he has a full access pass to my heart, mind and body.
God has healed my heart and my mind. At times there is still a twinge or a “phantom pain” that arises – but it is then that I call out to my Father God and He immediately gives me peace and comforts me. I still go in for regular checkups to make sure that I stay on the mend and don’t allow any root of bitterness to enter in.
God, the creator of the universe, the God of Abraham, Isaac & Jacob, God the Father of Jesus Christ the Messiah is the one that I want you to get to know personally.
I desire for each of you to know Him completely – His love, joy and peace, not because your cousin or your mother or your granny told you about Him; but for you to know Him for yourself.
We want you to know what it is for Him to heal your anger, hurt & pain, to know His comfort – then and only then will you be free. Today I am free from the prison that I built brick by brick – because God’s Love set me free!
Because He freely gave His love to me, I am giving my life back to Him. My life is now a living sacrifice to my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. God first loved me when I was unlovable and He continues to love me even when I stumble and fall down. My desire is that my life embodies the below scripture:
Romans 12:9-21 New Living Translation (NLT)
9 Don’t just pretend to love others. Really love them. Hate what is wrong. Hold tightly to what is good. 10 Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other. 11 Never be lazy, but work hard and serve the Lord enthusiastically.
12 Rejoice in our confident hope. Be patient in trouble, and keep on praying. 13 When God’s people are in need, be ready to help them. Always be eager to practice hospitality.
14 Bless those who persecute you. Don’t curse them; pray that God will bless them.
15 Be happy with those who are happy, and weep with those who weep.
16 Live in harmony with each other. Don’t be too proud to enjoy the company of ordinary people. And don’t think you know it all!
17 Never pay back evil with more evil. Do things in such a way that everyone can see you are honorable. 18 Do all that you can to live in peace with everyone.
19 Dear friends, never take revenge. Leave that to the righteous anger of God. For the Scriptures say, “I will take revenge; I will pay them back,”says the Lord.
20 Instead, “If your enemies are hungry, feed them. If they are thirsty, give them something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals of shame on their heads.”
21 Don’t let evil conquer you, but conquer evil by doing good.
Today I am able to share with others, family, friends, one on one, in small or large groups and now in print. I have Abundant Life through Jesus Christ. Mi casa es su casa (My home is your home) because of the love of Christ. Come on over, sit down and read our newsletters and Bible Studies; enjoy a cup of coffee – You Are Welcome Here!
Sincerely Warrior Bride of Christ,
Mrs. Donnie W. Ojemann
January 17, 2013